The Worst Tooth Fairy Ever

I have a confession to make: I am the worst tooth fairy ever. Let me share why–I’m sure you’ll agree.

Elena lost a tooth on Thursday. She couldn’t find her tooth fairy pillow and was a little concerned, but I told it would be okay if she put the tooth under her pillow in an obvious location. She chose a basket and went to sleep with happy expectations.

Well, Mark and I forgot about the tooth. Didn’t think about it once again all night. The next morning, Elena rushes downstairs.

“Mom, my tooth is still here!” She looked worried.

Ooops. I tried to make a recovery, “Maybe she’s on vacation?”

Elena looked confused, “The tooth fairy went on vacation?”

“Tooth fairies need breaks, too. Where’s your backpack?” I knew I had to change subjects before it got too deep.

That night, Elena faithfully returned her tooth to the basket under her pillow. (I have no idea how she slept like that.) Mark and I had a relaxing Friday night with my dad. Once again, the tooth never crossed our minds.

Saturday morning came and Elena was upset when she realized that the tooth was still under her pillow. This time she picked it up and brought it downstairs to show me that the tooth fairy didn’t show up again. She was upset as it was, but being a normal child, she set the tooth down somewhere on the trip to visit me and forgot where it was. By the time I saw her she was sobbing hysterically.

I went to see why she was crying. I found her dramatically sobbing with her head buried in her arms. To help visualize the scene, remember that my daughter is a TOTAL drama queen.

“What’s up?” I asked.

She looks at me with red, tear filled eyes, “The tooth fairy forgot….” dramatic pause, “AGAIN!” She continued her crying.

I’ve never been a guilty mom, but at this point I’m starting to feel a little bad. I couldn’t believe that I forgot AGAIN.

Taking a deep breath, Elena then proceeds to tell me that she lost find the tooth. “It’s so HORRIBLE. This is the worst day EVER.”

I sighed. I knew I was in for a long, emotional day of drama. The worst part was that I did it to myself. “I think the tooth fairy is still on vacation. Maybe she wanted to see her mom.”

Elena looked at me, “Is she ever coming back?”

I hugged her, “I’m sure she is.”

“Well, I lost my tooth. How will she know I lost it?”

“Write her a letter.”

Elena ran straight to my office to find paper and a pencil and wrote the following letter to the tooth fairy (word for word–wrong punctuation and all):

Dear Tooth Fairy,
I lost my tooth and I can’t find it. I tried and tried to find it but I just can’t. I wan’t to find it just for you.

Elena tucked the letter in the basket under her pillow. That night she went to sleep assured that the tooth fairy was coming.

Fast forward to Sunday morning. Okay, I am ashamed to admit it–we forgot again. Repeat previous drama. Repeat the story that the tooth fairy is still on vacation.

By the way, my daughter does not at all believe in Santa. Every year she gives me about 10 reasons why Santa’s trek across the earth is impossible. Why can’t she figure out the tooth fairy? Especially since I’m so BAD at being the tooth fairy. It would relieve a lot of parental pressure. Mark and I joked about writing a blog about this mess that evening. It made me feel a little better.

Fast forward to Sunday night. We went to sleep and forgot. I know, I know. How is that even possible? All I know is that I have 4 kids and I haven’t had enough sleep in weeks. Plus, Mark and I painted a lot of the day. All that adds up to falling asleep on the couch in a state of exhaustion. Luckily I got a break.

Mark jumped straight up out of bed at about 3:00. Yanked out of a great sleep, I jumped up, too.

“What in the world?” I asked groggily.

Mark looked at me, “I was dreaming about you blogging.”


“You said you were going to blog about being a bad tooth fairy. We never took care of the tooth fairy thing!”

We stumbled out of bed- Mark much faster than I. Half asleep I tried to direct him to where I had some cash. We decided that we should pay a dollar for every night she waited. It was the tooth fairy’s way of say sorry.

Elena was ecstatic the next morning. She thought that it was awesome to receive 4 whole dollars. Mark and I tried (in our exhausted state) to show just as much excitement. In fact, I’m yawning as I type this.

Most parents are good at playing the roll of the imaginary fairies with their first child and then lose steam as more kids get older. What are we going to do? We’re on the first child with 3 more to go.

I’d really like the tooth fairy to get fired, but in all honesty she probably won’t be. By the time Isaiah starts losing teeth I’ll probably end up owing him enough money to pay for a year at a small private school. Cha-ching.

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