Certain Death

Christina is going to die. At least, that’s what she’s screaming passionately, uncontrollably at the top of her lungs. You see, her death began with a fun game of tag between her and her sister. That game turned deadly once the fly swatter entered the picture.

Apparently, Mark’s cousin Bob told Christina that flies have germs that are deadly to humans. Just touching the net side of a fly swatter is certain death. Elena missed out on this life lesson, and during their game of tag she used the fly swatter to tag Christina.

I wish I could justly explain what happened next. It was almost in slow motion—Christina looked down at her arm where the fly swatter made contact… A look of shock and horror crossed her face… Then came the scream. She threw her head back and dropped to her knees, holding her arm and screaming with all of the power that she had in her 50 pound body.

For the next 30 minutes (literally) she screamed at the top of her lungs, “I’M GOING TO DIE!!!!! I’M GOING TO DIE.” At first we tried to calm her down, but after a while it became so ridiculous that we were having a hard time supressing our giggles. Then she began to scream, “I’M DYING AND NOBODY CARES!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!”

Elena and I tried to to explain that she wasn’t going to die, but in the midst of her sadness she could only say, “BUT BOBBY TOLD ME AND HE KNOWS MORE THAN ME BECAUSE HE’S OLDER.” I told her that I was older than Bob, but that didn’t pacifiy her. It was too late to console her.

Note: I wrote most of this post as Christina was on her death bed 2 weeks ago. I am glad to report that she is still alive. Lesson here: Watch what you say to kids. Their parents may have to pay for it later… I am still waiting for the fall out from Micah–he was told once that if you switched a light switch on and off too many times for no reason, somewhere a kitty will get hit by a car. (Which was not from Bob, for the record….) LOL

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